Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Kelvin's Garrick
According to Kel, 20 was caught on the day.
I wonder what bait was been used?
Hope not Snoek......
Monday, June 28, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Proudly Indian
Proudly Indian
Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta
Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm
Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.
Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia
Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli
Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika
Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.
Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY
FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India .
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India .
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India .
French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih
(former Chinese ambassador to USA )
A. Rajiv Gupta
Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm
Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.
Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia
Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli
Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika
Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.
Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY
FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India .
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India .
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India .
French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih
(former Chinese ambassador to USA )
H'indian Jokes ..... as BAAS TED & TIS CALI wud say He he he .....
Only in Phoenix
One day, Deven was slaaning a trap down by Chatsworth Centre when he checked
his chommie, Privesh, rying a brand new Hilux.
Privesh pulled up to him with a wide grin.
He tunes Privesh, came way here gazi: 'What kind Privesh, where'd you get that
bakkie?
Looks stylerz and all bru!'
'Sushi gave it to me' Privesh choonz.
'She gave it to you!!! I knew she kind of smaaked you, but a new
Hilux oyo what like that ???'
'Well, Deven, let me choon you what happened hekse: We were driving
out on the gravel road, in the middle of nowhere. Sushi pulled off the
road, ayo she put the bakkie in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the bushes. She
parked the bakkie, jumped out, threw off all her clothes and screams:
'Privesh, take whatever you want'. I swear its a one time offer!
'So I took the bakkie'...
'Privesh, you're blerrie clever, goondu! Her clothes would never
have fitted you!!!
Proudly Indian Girl
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception.
A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.
"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian
too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an
idiot, what would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile.
"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American ."
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception.
A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.
"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian
too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an
idiot, what would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile.
"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American ."
You know you are Indian
You know you’re Indian when:
1. You unwrap all gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
3. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
4. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or 1 leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real tupperware-only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
7. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride
longer than 15 minutes).
8. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
9. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
10. You majored in engineering, medicine or computers.
11. You live with your parents and you are 30 your parents, or at least in the same
neighborhood.
12. You don't use measuring cups.
13. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
14. Your parents' house is always cold.
15. You reuse teabags.
16. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
17. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's
midnight.
19. Your parents never go to the movies.
20. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
21. The first thing uncle asks you is "where are your parents from?"
22. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking
to a distant cousin.
23. No one you're related to is a music major.
24a. You avoid hotels, especially if there is an aquaintance within a 250 km radius of your
destination.
24b. You sleep on their floor.
25. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last
two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs.
26. When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert, especially after the customary 8 glasses of scotch, each stronger than the one before.
27. You drive 2 hours and spend a whole day to get a complementary cutlery set for listening to
a sales pitch on vacation timeshares.
28. You have bedsheets on your sofas.
29. When dining out, your parents think R6 is enough of a tip.
30. You know someone who owns a hotel or a convenience store.
31. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
32. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonials no matter what she looks like.
33. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
34. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel, the rim of which can cut your mouth if you're not
careful.
36. You have a plastic rug-runner going down your hallway at home.
37. There's a pungent odor of spices as one enters your home.
38. You pack a suitcase full of toilet paper when visiting India.
1. You unwrap all gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
3. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
4. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or 1 leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real tupperware-only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
7. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride
longer than 15 minutes).
8. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
9. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
10. You majored in engineering, medicine or computers.
11. You live with your parents and you are 30 your parents, or at least in the same
neighborhood.
12. You don't use measuring cups.
13. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
14. Your parents' house is always cold.
15. You reuse teabags.
16. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
17. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's
midnight.
19. Your parents never go to the movies.
20. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
21. The first thing uncle asks you is "where are your parents from?"
22. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking
to a distant cousin.
23. No one you're related to is a music major.
24a. You avoid hotels, especially if there is an aquaintance within a 250 km radius of your
destination.
24b. You sleep on their floor.
25. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last
two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs.
26. When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert, especially after the customary 8 glasses of scotch, each stronger than the one before.
27. You drive 2 hours and spend a whole day to get a complementary cutlery set for listening to
a sales pitch on vacation timeshares.
28. You have bedsheets on your sofas.
29. When dining out, your parents think R6 is enough of a tip.
30. You know someone who owns a hotel or a convenience store.
31. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
32. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonials no matter what she looks like.
33. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
34. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel, the rim of which can cut your mouth if you're not
careful.
36. You have a plastic rug-runner going down your hallway at home.
37. There's a pungent odor of spices as one enters your home.
38. You pack a suitcase full of toilet paper when visiting India.
H'indian Family Tree
Meet the family and this what they do, Dad the bus driver is BUSDEO, he has a couple sons, the one ou is a carpet salesman his name is RUGNATH, his brother the drug addict is GAANJADEAN, the small ou is a boxer his name is CHINSAMY, his friend the astronaut is MOONSAMY, the neighbour that just got of jail for murder is MADURAY, and they bly next to the indian muslim girl who sits under the mango tree, her name is SHAIDA and her best friend who sits under the lemon tree is SOURTREE, but what they don't know is that the indian sniper GUNPATH is checking them out!!!
Indian Men
A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on abeautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island,
the following was observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend time
with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking &
cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look
at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying
to sell them the Mexican woman.
G. What happened to the Indians????
Scroll down......
.
.
.
.
The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the
Indian woman!
Charous Request to Santa
1) The Hindi kids Letter:
Dear Santha Dada: please organise me a seiko quartz watch for
christmas, i will be parking for the present, we did not by christmas tree beacause Kaki & Kaka are coming for christmas, therefore we had to save the money for food stamps.
2) The 9yr old Muslim kids Letter:
Dear Sante Claws, please send me a 16valve GTI, so i can drive to the
Esplande, in Durban and park by the Milky Lane, so all the other
babies can check it out, PS do not forget the subs for the system.
3) The 12yr old Coloured Indian (Coloured mom, indian dad)
Lewe Santa my cousin, my gazzie, what's up, do not forget me this
christmas, two pairs white socks, warangler jeans & the a pair of mocks, PS, do not forget the 3 quartz, so i can be a good sumu-terian and share it with my two other bra's.
4) The 6yr old Eas! t Indian (Chinese mom, Asian dad)
Dear Santa Claus, peas bring, for Ching Ling the rite ting, bing Kung
fu sticks, so baby become ninga, then baby fuco daddio cause me eat only curry and not star fry.
5) The 22 yr old Tamil indian (found notably in Chats, Phoenix Plaza)
Dearest Santa Clause, howzit, exsir i am tune-ing the ou-ens there is
no such thing as Santa, but u prove me wrong my swaar, organise me DSTV
without the sim card so i get free sports channel, save me the trouble of going to the 5's.
Dear Santha Dada: please organise me a seiko quartz watch for
christmas, i will be parking for the present, we did not by christmas tree beacause Kaki & Kaka are coming for christmas, therefore we had to save the money for food stamps.
2) The 9yr old Muslim kids Letter:
Dear Sante Claws, please send me a 16valve GTI, so i can drive to the
Esplande, in Durban and park by the Milky Lane, so all the other
babies can check it out, PS do not forget the subs for the system.
3) The 12yr old Coloured Indian (Coloured mom, indian dad)
Lewe Santa my cousin, my gazzie, what's up, do not forget me this
christmas, two pairs white socks, warangler jeans & the a pair of mocks, PS, do not forget the 3 quartz, so i can be a good sumu-terian and share it with my two other bra's.
4) The 6yr old Eas! t Indian (Chinese mom, Asian dad)
Dear Santa Claus, peas bring, for Ching Ling the rite ting, bing Kung
fu sticks, so baby become ninga, then baby fuco daddio cause me eat only curry and not star fry.
5) The 22 yr old Tamil indian (found notably in Chats, Phoenix Plaza)
Dearest Santa Clause, howzit, exsir i am tune-ing the ou-ens there is
no such thing as Santa, but u prove me wrong my swaar, organise me DSTV
without the sim card so i get free sports channel, save me the trouble of going to the 5's.
Were THUNEE came from & how to play
Thunee is a popular card game that originated in Durban, South Africa. It was invented by Indian indentured-labourers who arrived in South Africa to work in the sugarcane fields. It is believed that there are variations of the game found in India and Mauritius.
The game can be played by two (one-on-one), three (one-on-two), four (two-on-two) or six (three-on-three) players. Although the most popular, and most interesting, is the game consisting of four players.
The score is kept using the Six cards; these are referred to as the "ball cards".
A nominated person from the team named called out first will shuffle the cards and offer the opposition on his left the opportunity to cut the cards. He will then deal the cards face up, one card to each player at a time starting from his right. The first person receiving a Black Jack (i.e. either the Jack of Clubs or the Jack of Spades) will start dealing and the opposite side will trump.
The Dealer must always offer the opposition to his left the opportunity to cut the deck. One cannot center cut or count the number of cards prior to cutting. The opposition may decline to cut with no recourse.
Bidding (or calling as it is commonly known) is done when the players have four cards each and is started by the opposing team in multiples of 10. Should both players from the team call out a bid at the same time, the bid is escalated to the next multiple of 10 and the dealer will allocate who from the opposing team will call trump which must be placed on the table by the player concern. The maximum bid is a 100 and the player with the highest bid will keep trump. The opposing team may call 104. Should the team counting win the game, then they will be allowed to open 2 points on their scorecard. The bidding process can be halted if a player calls Thunee. The trumpman has the first right to call thunee.
The player who calls thunee must win all hands with the first card played in that game becoming the trump. The player calling thunee must win all hands and must not be caught by the opposition or their partner. Should the player who called thunee be caught by the opposing team, then the winning team is allowed to open 4 points. Should the player who called thunee be caught by his partner, then the winning team is allowed to open 8 points.
If a team during the game is caught committing an offence (e.g. using sign language, etc), then the team is automatically disqualified and loses the round, incurring a 4 point penalty(Four-ball) .
A Jodhi can also be called by a player after his team has won their first or third hand prior to the first card of the next hand being played. The opposition team , if counting, will thus have to meet 105 points added to whatever Jodhi was called. If the team which is counting calls a Jodhi, then the points which they have to achieve are 105 less whatever Jodhi was called. The team which claims last hand is given 10 points. The Jodhis a player can call are as follows : Jack, King and Queen of one suite which adds 30 points, or 50 points if it is of the trump suite. King and Queen of one suite which adds 20 points, or 40 points if it is of the trump suite.
A double can be called by a player on the last hand if his team has taken all hands and he is sure he will take the last hand. The call is made by the player playing the first card on the last hand. If it is a correct call then the team's ball score increases by 2. If it is an incorrect call then the opposition team's ball score increases by 4.
A khanuck is also called on the last hand if a team is going to win the last hand and the Jodhis called by that team are higher than the final point tally less 10 of the opposition team. A correct khanuck call adds 3 ball points onto the winning team and an inccorrect one gives four ball points onto the opposition team
A thunee game is won by the player or team who has won 12 rounds, or ball points. 13 rounds or ball points must be reached to win if a khanuck was called during the game. A common variant requires 13 rounds to win a game regardless if khanuck was called or not.
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